The art of compromise
by Tresa Erickson, MultiAd
You’ve seen enough to know that weddings can bring out the worst in people. Joining two people from different backgrounds in holy matrimony is rarely smooth sailing. What should be a union of two often turns into a union of families, and that can make for very difficult times. Even when the families take a step back to respect the wishes of the bride and groom, things can get out of hand. Although the wedding is theirs, brides and grooms can get carried away and alienate others with their wedding choices. How do you avoid this? You learn the art of compromise.
Compromise, a settlement of differences by mutual concessions.
That’s right. Differences and concessions. With so many people involved in the planning of a wedding, it is not uncommon for differences to occur. Whether concessions are made depends upon the willingness of the parties involved. Are you willing to consider options other than your own? Are you willing to consider that the options of others might be better? Just because you want round tables at your reception does not mean you should have them. They may not be available or work for the space.
Don’t assume there is one and only one way to do things. There might be several. You should take the time to listen to all of the options available before determining what is best for your purposes. Compromise cannot work without concession. It may be your wedding, but that doesn’t mean you have all of the best ideas. The more open you are to getting the feedback of others and pursuing what works, the easier the planning will be.
Of course, not all opinions are feasible. You must be able to separate the good from the bad, the essential from the non-essential, the important from the not so important. If an idea will not work, there’s no use in considering it. If an idea will work but you have your heart set on something else, it’s fine to axe it. It is your wedding, and you don’t have to concede on everything. Do remember, however, that your wedding will be just the first of many good days to come. The fact that you have to simplify the wording on the invitations for your parents’ sake probably won’t matter to you 10 years from now.
Respect is key. Family and friends must understand that it is not their wedding and respect the wishes of those involved, in particular the bride and groom. The bride and groom must understand that while it is their wedding there are others involved who may want to have a say. The couple must respect the opinions of each other and those involved in the wedding planning. That respect can lead to the willingness to concede, which in turn, can lead to a better wedding overall.